Breakfast

Today was too bright to be blue. My sister made me an aunt for the first time two years ago when she got married to a man who already had a daughter. I love this little girl. She is 7. I get to see her twice a year at the most. My husband and I took the day off work to completely devote to her. I arrived to see her at 9 a.m. She had just woken up and was suffering from an extreme case of bed-head which my sister made me promise to fix before we ventured in public. I couldn't help but picture what she does in her sleep to create such a mess. I laughed to myself as I imagined her doing a series of twists and turns. I poured her a bowl of frosted mini-wheats (her favorite...not mine). She picked up a piece loaded with frosting. I pretended to eat it and it fell off her spoon onto the floor. The loss of sugar made her cry. I laughed...then felt bad...held back more laughter...then dug through the giant bag to locate another equally coated piece. It was a success. Our conversation over breakfast consisted of dogs, cold milk, and dancing. Yes...the dancing. She said dancing is in her blood. That it just comes naturally. She hears music and her feet know what to do. She paused eating for the purpose of proving her skills to me. I couldn't argue. And she danced. I couldn't tell you what exactly she was doing. It wouldn't do it justice. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen. She finished her routine and humbly sat down to finish her mini-wheats. I smiled and finished mine too.

My World of Blue

It's one of the most common mental illnesses of our day.
It goes by many aliases:
anxiety, fear, sadness, lack of interest, feeling BLUE...
Whatever you call it...it's painful.

I like to call it BLUE. BLUE seems less threatening. Manageable even. And for someone who is "self diagnosed" with depressive episodes, I'll manage whatever I can.

These types of feelings are common. Everyone feels bummed or sad sometimes. But the feelings can be intense and difficult to carry for those suffering. So difficult in fact, that the burden can be consuming.

Daily, I battle BLUE times. I even worry when I have nothing to worry about. I get so preoccupied with the BLUE that I miss everything brighter. I need a lighter load. Thus the purpose of this blog.

No satire or sarcasm. No complaining or gossip. Argue that it's not reality if needs be, but in my defense...my world of BLUE is no reality. Real reality consists of beauty, laughter, and joy: Everything my world of BLUE is lacking. I acknowledge the reality of human suffering and pain, but I also acknowledge God for allowing us to feel and to love. I thank Him for providing the brightest things.

I need to break through my world of BLUE. I need to recognize the brightest things. I'll do it here.